There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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