But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
