Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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