And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
