So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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