Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
