Did I show you my penis last night?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
