I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
