You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
