1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
