I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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