Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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