yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
