she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
