how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
