Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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