I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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