I look better un-naked...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He passed out mid-signature
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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