oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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