I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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