he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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