I can tuck mytits in my pants
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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