Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
