so that wasnt chicken after all
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
