am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
