Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
