I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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