I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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