with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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