dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
