So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
