how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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