if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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