I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize