it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
