i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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