dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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