My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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