just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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