I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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