Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
