id be glad to
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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