She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
