Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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