there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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