TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize