i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
