i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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