Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
