omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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