The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
