i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
