if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
