I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
