doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
