He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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