the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
