The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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