I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
