Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
