Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
