i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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