I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
