im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
