You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize